She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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