I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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