when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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