if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
