ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
