Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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