I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
