She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
