I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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