its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
