so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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