She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
