He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
