Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
