I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
