ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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