WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
