I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
