He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
