3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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