her vagine was all disorganized.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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