I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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