SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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