...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My ATM looks so different sober.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
