I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
