I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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