Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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