i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
