Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
