apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
