The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
