You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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