i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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