you would pick up someone in the library
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
