But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
