My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
