I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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