too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Couch. On fire.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
