I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
