I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
