at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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