its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
