I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
