I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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