In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
