Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
