you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
