STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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