So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
