She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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