I'm eating all of the evidence.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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