no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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