I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
