I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
