He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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