I'm going to jail i love you
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
